![]() ![]() ![]() We were in a blissful wonderland, one of the biggest and oldest flea markets in the state and we were having a blast. Soda machines had the cooler, early ’90s logos. A dollar at least, by today’s eBay standards. To the left, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the neglected vending machines, red, encasing charms that now easily exceed their quarter price due to their age. The white tile floors, no longer shiny, coated with a decade of dust, forced my eyes to the storefronts that housed all kinds of bizarre bullshit. As we passed through the entrance, Tears for Fears “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” lightly trickled out of the ancient P.A system like a refreshing mist of cool rain. My body does not handle the sun and heat very well, so we made our way inside to see what treasures awaited us. If guys were girls they would have one handbag, but girls are girls and they have like 12 and they’re always looking for two more, one for that wedding they have to go to and the other because the ones they have just can’t fit everything. We’re talking cheap motorized toys, belts, gaudy sweaters, faux jewelry, generic brands of laundry detergent, and lots of other weird, totally random shit. Let’s see how much more I can elaborate on the junk at the outdoor tables. Naturally, we made it our f’n mission to literally walk through every single aisle as if the tables were the hedge maze and we were The Torrances. I may be off by one or two, but there must have been 75,000 vendor tables selling everything from knockoff colognes featuring scents like Sweaty Taint and Phys-ed Funk to multicolored belts, statues, and cheap sunglasses. The outdoor portion of the Columbus Flea Market is an endless sea of vendor tables. ![]() We saved the best for last and did our exterior inspection first. With the record breaking cold temperatures here in New Jersey, reminiscing on one of our warm weather adventures is comforting. Where were we? Oh yes, we were driving up the New Jersey Turnpike after the Monster Mania convention and decided to make a little detour… ![]()
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